Where HAVE I been? Yeah...I've been very much MIA. I've been so unreligious it's now beginning to hurt. I'm sorry.
I was doing some hunting for some Aztec and Mayan sacred texts (things that I didn't write) for my BoS.
The problem is, all of them are the Pagans who are reconstructing the ancient practises. That annoys me. My reasoning is that, they aren't evolving with the times. This is the pitfall that the Kemetic Pagans fell into. We've got these Westerners trying to re-create an ancient practise that has been effectively wiped out. Even the bits we do know are only fractions of information, and only from the stuff that survived. Sure, you read all the history books and the codexes, but that isn't how the common people practised. That was the royalty, the wealthy, the small fraction of the populace that could afford it. I understand the need for reconstructivists. They are the ones who band together to try to bring some validity to your religion, but frankly, it's not *my* religion. According to them, that means I can't call myself Aztec or Mayan, and I should probably go associate myself with the other Fluffeh Bunnehs and go back to being a Wiccan. I'm exagerating; these people are probably perfectly nice. I don't know why they get under my skin. I really shouldn't be allowed to read things on the internet that are likely to depress me. I just read a FSTDT quote by a New Ager. So...I admit, I've found a lot of more flakey New Agers, but this guy wasn't trying to convert others to his way of thinking, he just...was.
Then the people on FSTDT just rip him apart. You know, when I started blogging, even before I got trolled, I started to feel bad for the people who were quoted on FSTDT. I may not agree with them at all, but to reply with the comments that are on FSTDT just pains me now. I can't even reply to them, let alone go searching for quotes I like I used to. Likewise, I can't watch Bill Mahar standup anymore, or his movie. I know he specifically badmouths the leaders of religion, and the politics behind it, it still hurts me. I know someone who adores the film Religious. She is also a Pagan. I don't understand how she can't see the connection. Just because someone doesn't mention "Wicca' or "Pagan", doesn't mean thier opinions don't relate to us. It just bothers me now. In oh Today I was at my local New Age shop and Reiki training ground to pick up some things. Everyone in my family was born between now and the end of September, so I picked up some presents, handed in my Reiki I case studies and went on a bit of a shopping spree (because saving money is for LOSERS).
I got some USB bling. You know, useless devices that plug into your computer? I got some USBling! See, my computer is secretly evil. It also hits on me, but that's another story. I've named my computer HAL, after the HAL-9000 computer from the movie 2001, because my computer is evil like HAL, but I love him anyway. So, I got HAL some bling! It's a salt lamp. A Himalayan salt lamp. I had wanted one of these suckers for ever, but I'm poor and the USB one was cheap :P If you don't know about salt lamps, they are basicall all-natural ionizers. The heat from the lamp releases negative ions (I think), and get rid of the free-floating positive ones. I actually don't know if they work, but they look really cool. Wow, really sixteen days since I worked on this site? As you can see, I've given it a face lift. The banner is getting an overhaul at some point when I come up with a good enough substitute for the pattern. I sort of like the pattern though. I dunno.
The original BoS section is now the Reference Library, because I wasn't feeling right with calling it a Book of Shadows. You can see the new Mesoamerican Book of Shadows tab, which is more like what my Book of Shadows would look like, if I had a handwritten one. This will have loads of information dedicated to my specific path. Our Hell-Reno should be over in TWO WEEKS! With the new countertop and backsplash going up next week, and the painting almost finished, it's shapping up. My mom broke my Aladdin Royal Dulton figurine I had owned since I was little, but it was a clean break, we just need crazy glue to put his head back on! Jasmine, however, survived. My own sacred space upstairs has been very low on energy because I've been low on energy. I've been sleeping a lot and going though some big personal shifts. All my energy has been put into attempting to keep the peace downstairs. Renos suck. At least the major constuction aspects are done so I'm not in pain like the house. Instead, I just feel oily because of the wet paint! I haven't been this oily since I was sixteen, and I haven't had break outs like this since I was fourteen (memo to self: I need a facial). But it's not oil-based paint. Our handyman is pretty environmentally concious. The house is really shaping up too. All the cracks and damage from wear and use of the last ten years are all being fixed on the main floor. It's like the house is going though a big spa treatment, like the one where you fast and feel like killing the therapists, but when you're done you feel great? Yeah, so, I don't know how I got a cold in the middle of July, BUT, I did. Go me.
August 1st is an important day for me. First off, it's the Egyptian New Year. Second, it's Lammas. But, I'm sick, so I've curled up with ice cream instead of actually doing a ritual. I feel bad for that. I hope you guys all have a better Lammas/New Year than me :P I'm doing a Reiki case study on Sunday, with the girl who was in my class. I'm wondering if I should build (another) site for my services, or if it's too early in the game. I'd like to get everything out and easily referenced, but I'm also a total noob.
Today and tomorrow, I think I'm going to work on my websites (yes, I have two. This one and a personal one). Coding, editing, and thinking. I've been spiritually disconnected this week, with the Reiki attunement, and the renos (which are done for four days while our handyman deals with some family matters). But, I've also been disconnected from my other website, which I had to mirror onto a Weebly host when my other host died. I spent a day mirroring it, then I stopped. When I could have worked on it or this site yesterday, I instead gave up and played around on the internet. Today, I'm doing school work. I feel bad for not doing any. I've found HTML to be a language that calms me down, which is incredibly helpful when building a site.
I know I have a list of goals on the front page, but I haven't been sticking to it and I feel bad. My new goal is to get a BoS page done every other day, with one essay or reveiw every Saturday. As for spells and rituals? I haven't decided yet. Our celing is fixed! We still have renos going on, but they are in one area (the kitchen) instead of all over the house. I'm closer to the renos which will make me hurt a bit, but it's better than the drywall. The sawing is always the worst. I can feel it. It feels like a very slight pins and needles.
I'm hoping to get an essay up today. That and my poetry section are the only sections I haven't done anything to, so I'd like to get them up before I work on my BoS anymore. I have my Reiki I. It was an intense day, Sunday, but it was amazing. It was so worth it. I honestly had a great time and learned so much. It's a lot to take in. When I got home that night, I was loopy. Stayed up until 4 in the morning talking about Coatis (Nosebears!) and Watchmen. Woke up with a Comedian desktop that I don't even remember finding. I've been so unmotivated to do pretty much anything. My mood keep shifting with the house.
As it turns out, our entire ventalation system was installed wrong. So, it wasn't just me when I told everyone my room was a virtual boiler. Last night it was almost unbearable. I know I had been dancing wildly, but once I stopped, the heat should have began to disapate. Here's what I know. Outside it's 85 degrees. Thus, that's the temp our attic should be. Our attic was 102. Because the renos are now upstairs, I'm in the basement feeling slightly uncomfortable and unable to be me. I've been enjoying the freedom to watch what I want on tv, or to listen to Lady Gaga music videos without having to get headphones and then have people question what I'm doing. Reiki I tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow is better than today. |